The only thing that is constant is change. – Heraclitus
Change. A powerful moment in one person’s life can be a grueling ordeal for another. The situation in which change occurs can have profound meaning depending on our perspectives, life history, and support systems. When life changes turn out to be positive, we applaud change and revel in the fact that we have accomplished another stage of our lives. However, when change has negative outcomes the only thing we can control is how we choose to react. In these situations, those choices become catalysts for the path we take to heal.
The changes in my life over the last year have caused me to internalize my emotions. These emotions often manifest in the form of anger. I can point fingers at others; the actions they took that consciously hurt me, the words that have been said to discredit my pain, and the overall lack of empathy from those who swore to love me. At some point, I needed to point the finger at myself as well. Though verbalizing anger can trigger a cathartic release, living in anger daily and practicing anger as the first emotion is exhausting and stalemates any personal growth desired. I need to understand and take responsibility for how I’m choosing to react to the changes in my life.
So how do we get past the pain? How do we learn and grow through these experiences without relying on anger and resentment? For me, I’ve had to take a step back from what I thought was significant in my life, and assess if my choices were allowing me to heal and thrive. I’ve been trying so hard to make my life mirror the life I had before the pain, but that only emphasized the memories of pain. The only thing worse then being surrounded by a memory of a broken past, is feeling like you have to smile through it all.
So what does all this mean? I have a choice to make. I’ve decided that I need to re-learn who I am and what is important to me. I need to find the me that can be happier, the me that is at peace, and the me who is choosing to move forward with love and not anger. I may not succeed every day, but that’s part of my journey.
I’ve decided to embark on a journey of sorts. Over the next two years I’m planning on experiencing 35 new events or places on the path to my 35thbirthday. My hope is to push the bounds of my comfort level and find what makes me happiest in my new life. I know this journey will be difficult, but well worth it. Cheers to all of you who are on your own journeys, may you find what you’re looking for. Here’s to new beginnings.